If you checked the witness list for tomorrow's SCIA hearing on the Tribal Law and Order Act, you probably noticed a familiar name: Troy Eid, the former U.S. Attorney for Colorado, who was pretty much the first and only federal prosecutor to publicly support restoration of tribal criminal jurisdiction over non-Indians.

Eid, who now works at Greenberg Traurig is going to run for attorney general of Colorado, let a bunch of colleagues (and the media) know he was going to testify at the hearing. In a very helpful e-mail, he attached a copy of his testimony for all to read and offered a prognosis on S.797.

The invitation to testify came from Senator Byron Dorgan of North Dakota, the Committee chairman, who introduced this bi-partisan bill. This is the third time Chairman Dorgan has introduced a version of this bill, although this year the chances for success appear to be favorable.

So far so good, right? Of course! Then come this response, sent to EVERYONE on Eid's e-mail list, from Tom Heffelfinger, whom you might recognize as the former U.S. Attorney for Minnesota and who was nearly fired for paying too much attention to Indians during his time in the Bush administration:

Troy, good luck on this. I testified last year at Sen Dorgan's request on the prior bill. Perhaps you will have better luck. Tom Heffelfinger

Such words of encouragement! We can only hope Heffelfinger twitters the hearing tomorrow to let everyone know how it goes.

History is filled with accounts of European settlers being captured by tribes and being treated like one of their own. But the tale of a German boy who was kidnapped by a band of Apaches in Texas, takes the cake for the way it's described by Bartee Haile of The Diboll Free Press.

Eleven year old Herman Lehmann led his brother Willie, age eight, and two younger sisters to the far corner of the German family's frontier farm. The innocent children entertained themselves oblivious to the danger silently surrounding them on moccasin-clad feet.

Good thing those Apaches weren't wearing Nikes! That would have ruined the story. Continuing..

Herman looked up and straight into the painted faces of an Apache raiding party. Willie was instantly seized, but his big brother jumped to his feet and sprinted toward the farmhouse 300 yards away. The leader of the band quickly ran him down and, according to Herman's adult account, "slapped me, choked me, beat me and tore my clothes off."

..

Fearing pursuit by a pioneer posse, the Apaches raced at top speed through the underbrush. Securely strapped to the backs of two ponies, the naked brothers were cut to pieces by the mesquite and cactus.

Whoa there! This is a family newspaper, not a romance novel!

Somehow, Herman found some clothes and was quickly accepted by his new family, including his "squaw" mother:

Apache custom awarded custody of a child captive to his kidnapper, in Herman's case a respected warrior called Carnoviste. His childless squaw took such tender care of the unexpected blessing that "when she died a year later, I felt I had lost my best friend among the Indians."

But life among the Apaches wasn't easy. He was told that his family was killed. And then there were those pesky outsiders:

Skin color was all he had in common with the evil palefaces, whom he hated as much as any full-blooded Indian.

...

He recalled decades later, "I wanted to die a fugitive rather than be turned over to the white man."

Eventually, Herman did reunite with his family. But he didn't know who they were because he no longer understood German!

For the next 51 years until his death in 1932, Herman Lehmann was a split personality. Although most of his time was spent in the world of his birth, he regularly visited his red brethren. Who can say where he really felt more at home?

A happy ending. Who says ICWA doesn't work?

Hot news, from THE most reliable source on Interior Department matters...

It has been confirmed that the BIA, namely individuals in the Office of the Solicitor have developed a list of Tribes. More information may be provided at the conference at the Tunica Biloxi Casino next week.

So there you go, another reason to go to Louisiana for the USET strategy session on the U.S. Supreme Court decision in Carcieri v. Salazar!

PS. Not like we need to ask but Scott Keep and Edith Blackwell are probably involved in drawing up The List.

PPS. You guys know Scott Keep and Edith Blackwell are bad news, right?

PPPS. Confirm Hilary Tompkins soon!

Charles Trimble: Recalling the Burro of Indian Affairs

Is this young Tax Day Tea Party protester acknowledging the federal government's theft from Indian people with his "Stay Out of My Piggybank" poster? Or is he is just a random kid in a headdress? The New York Times probably didn't ask.

President Obama is signing the public lands bill today. But another announcement is in the works too. Tune in!

UPDATE: Sorry folks, it was just Obama giving a shout out to tribal leaders and to Navajo code talker!

The Rebirth of 'Luke Warm Water'

Hey we know it's been a while but do you guys remember some white lady who worked on the Hill and sent out a loving e-mail about Indianz to all her Hill staffer friends? Her name is Ann M. Copland and it looks like she's about to be indicted for her role in the Jack Abramoff scandal!

A former deputy to Jack Abramoff was charged Wednesday in the lobbyist corruption scandal, accused of wining and dining public officials and showering them with other gifts to win favors for clients.

The government says Todd Boulanger gave government aides "a stream of things of value," including all-expense-paid travel, tickets to professional sports and concerts and nights out at expensive restaurants, to reward and influence actions that would benefit his clients. He was charged with conspiracy to commit wire fraud.

...

Court documents say Boulanger, Abramoff and another lobbyist named Kevin Ring tried to get gifts for a legislative assistant in the Senate, described as "Staffer E," who was in a position to help with legislation benefiting the Mississippi tribe. An attorney with knowledge of the case, who spoke on condition of anonymity because of the ongoing investigation, said "Staffer E" is Ann Copland, a former aide to Sen. Thad Cochran, R-Miss.

Now we're not gloating or anything but the timeline is clear: She made fun of Indianz, "quit" her job in the Senate to work somewhere else and now she's connected to the biggest Washington scandal in decades. Just sayin!!

Oklahoma takes its name from two Choctaw words meaning "red people." But the state GOP appears to be taking the name a bit too far with this nightmare before Christmas card. Enjoy, or cower in fear, depending on your views of a state with the second-larges population of American Indians and Alaska Natives.

Everyone wants to blame Sarah Palin and George W. Bush but the real reason John McCain lost the 2008 presidential election was his top adviser Martin Eisenstadt. The fun stuff starts 44 seconds into the following video:

"John McCain, as the head of the Indian Affairs Committee in the Senate, knows hands-on, full-well, the importance of [economic] development and how a casino can transform a people," Eisenstadt says. "Only 20 years ago, Indians were drunk and homeless and committing crimes. Today, they're prosperous and wealthy, driving Mercedes [with] satellite dishes on their homes.

 

From a forthcoming Sarah Palin interview on CNBC:

Yeah, yeah. Ted Stevens, you know, a sad day for Alaska yesterday when he was found guilty of seven felonies. But -- and now he needs to do the right thing, and the right thing is -- as he's proclaiming his innocence and proclaiming, too, that he will go through the appellate process.

OK, then he needs to step aside and allow our state to elect someone who will be supportive of those ideals of America: the free enterprise, the missions that we're on, to win the war, those things that have got to take place in order to progress this country. Ted Stevens has got to play a very statesmanlike role in this now.

The polls look bad for Maverick McCain but one segment of the American electorate remains strongly behind the former Prisoner of War: tribal casino patrons!

According to The Kansas City Star players at the Gold River Casino, owned by the still-recognized Delaware Nation of Oklahoma, have spun the wheels on their non-blurry Class II/Class III machines 281,506 times for McCain. That other guy only has 252,689 spins!

Clearly, that The New York Times hit piece backfired. So much for all that mud.

Supporters of Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama are circulating two videos that appear to make Republican opponent Sen. John McCain look like he always has looked: somewhat crazy!

In The Hoop doesn't know where these videos came from but they look like clips from a somewhat recent interview of McCain. In the first, he says "We all know that Native Americans aren't 'sovereign nations' because they're part of America, they're citizens, [they are] in our military and everything else."

The clip cuts off his next sentence, in which he probably says "But Native Americans ARE sovereign nations." Why would he say that? Because McCain is a maverick and that's just the kind of stuff he does!

In the second clip, McCain looks all somber when he talks about the "clash of civilizations" between Native Americans and Europeans. "Throughout history, the less mature civilization always suffers," he says. We agree 100 percent! The European Americans just gave themselves $700 billion to bail out their economy. Much much suffering for many many moons.

Are you an Indian voter who is still undecided about the 2008 presidential race? Then consider this endorsement from somebody in Connecticut:

If you want examples of some real heroes, I can think of three right now, strong leaders who served their people admirably, at great pain and suffering to themselves. Sen. John McCain, President Franklin Roosevelt, and Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce Tribe, are all genuine heroes.

Who can argue with that! John McCain went to boarding school with Chief Joseph so he probably picked up a few leadership tips from the great Nez Perce leader.